Important: Recall Notice

BIBLE: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth!!!

Regardless of make or year, all units known as "human being" are being recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named "Adam" and "Eve" resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect is technically termed, "Serious Internal Non-morality," but more commonly known as "SIN."

Some of the symptoms of the SIN defect:
(a) Loss of direction
(b) Lack of peace and joy
(c) Depression
(d) Foul vocal emissions
(e) Selfishness
(f) Ingratitude
(g) Fearfulness
(h) Rebellion
(i) Jealousy

The Manufacturer is providing factory authorized repair service free of charge to correct the SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus Christ, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.

To repeat, there is no fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected please upload the burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Christ, into the heart component of the human unit.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Christ will replace it with:
(a) Love
(b) Joy
(c) Peace
(d) Kindness
(e) Goodness
(f) Faithfurness
(g) Gentleness
(h) Patience
(i) Self-control

Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes.

As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from the resident Maintenance Technician, the HOLY SPIRIT. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence on the premises.

WARNING: Continuing to operate a human unit without corrections voids Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will ultimately result in the human unit being incinerated.

Thank you for your immediate attention, and please assist by notifying others of this important recall notice!

-JOHN 3:16 & 17!!!